My sink is full. Clean laundry is piled up like a mountain in my room. The floors are dirty. My mom wouldn't be proud.
I came home from an Easter egg hunt with the kids today, but really didn't want to step foot in the door. I wanted an excuse to stay out until my husband could come home and rescue me from trying to juggle the kids and straightening out the horrendous mess that wasn't there yesterday morning.
So, I played outside with the kids for a while to avoid entering. We did sidewalk chalk, and I day dreamed. I so crave peace, and enjoyed the time where I could slip away by finally using the right side of my brain. When I stood up, the dishes started silently pounding at my peace again, so I finally gave in and did them. There is almost nothing more satisfying at this stage of life than having a clean house, a clear slate! Even more satisfying than that, is being able to spend quality time as a family within that space, messy or clean (better if clean!). That said, there are still so many things I'd love to invest time in. There are new, in-depth recipes to be made, gardens to be planted, and art supplies to be used.
I'm so often distracting myself to avoid the fact that I can't fully invest and focus on the things that I day dream about. When I can't paint a picture, I get on Facebook. When I can't dive into a book, I eat chocolate. When I want to really focus on God (alone), I mindlessly clean the house. Distract, distract, distract. The things that fulfill me, besides my family, usually take time, and with kids, most everything is rushed. I'm trying to find a balance between being a loving mom and teacher and being a great keeper of the home (with hobbies!) who also has time for God and occasional exercise! I've silenced my creativity for so long now, and am hoping to try to embrace it again without guilt.